Seems like the wild and crazy guys over at Popular Airsoft had gotten tried
of my constant whining and pouting after each contest and decided they would shut me up for good.
I was just honored to be nominated, blah, blah ,blah
( insert self deprecating comment here)
Bull crap, I won and I am happy!
I now can say I have an award winning blog.
I know it has not been up to snuff lately and I can't blame it on flying monkeys this time.
Here is what really happened, but don't tell anyone.
See, I am a very vocal and strident guns rights advocate.
Knowing that, and knowing what they were planing to do, the government had to silence me.
They knew my ability to turn a phrase and my mastery of the keyboard could hurt them.
Their nefarious plan was kicked off at a trade show in Orlando, FL on the 31'st of October
I believe that they had trained flocks of radio controlled mosquitoes to inject me with a toxin.
(little did they know, I had been married, twice! I think both of my saintly x wives put just a little poison in my coffee each day. I know I would if I had to live with me, so I built up an immunity.)
I lost my voice at the show,
(now, this happened at every trade show I have done for years, I am a talker)
When I drove back to my lair in NC, I was deathly ill
( this happens every time also, I have the immune system of a 2 week old)
Week one, after my retun, still no voice
Week three, still croak out my words
Week four, OK, this is getting serious.
A trip to the sawbones and a fiber optic camera shoved up my nose and down my throat told the tale.
Paralyzed vocal cord on the left side.
( Doctor had "No idea" how it happened, ya, right)
A CT scan found a huge mass on my Thyroid, so, more tests.
I had a biopsy the day before I left for SHOT show.
Las vegas is a fun town, not so much when your waiting to hear if you have the Big C or not though.
I found out on Thursday of that week, no cancer was found..
I think this is the 1st time I cried at a SHOT show,
no, wait... there was the year 2000 show when I worked for S&W and everyone was mean and hated us,
wait again... I remember,
we went out and got drunk and were very rude to people and we told them to suck it and if they wanted to complain we worked for Glock, that's what we did.
Oh, sorry, back to the story.
Last Friday, I went under the knife and they took out my left thyroid.
.I have since been convalescing at home existing on a cocktail of codeine and anti nausea meds.
Voice, still ain't back,but there is hope..
So I say, Suck it you minions of the
Military Industrial Complex,
who tried to keep me down.
I will rise again, I will keep fighting the good fight,
I will not be kept down by the man.
Airsoft now, Airsoft forever!
More to come soon.
Stay Thirsty my Friends.